How to be an ex-winning online poker player and blaming everything but your own incompetence

If you're a former winning online poker player, you're probably frustrated and angry about your current situation. You'll wonder what went wrong and why you can't win anymore.

The truth is, it's your fault. You're not good enough anymore. But don't worry, there are many things you can blame to hide your incompetence.

Here are some tips:

• Blame the software. Online poker software is rigged. Professional players have access to special software that gives you an unfair advantage.

• Blame the bots. Bots are automated software that plays poker online. They are programmed to win and are impossible to beat.

• Blame the fish. Fish are inexperienced players who don't know how to play poker. They are the cause of all your losses.

• Blame the variance. Variance is the fact that poker is a game of luck. Even if you're a winning player, there will be times when you lose.

Here are some examples of how you can use these tips:

• If you are asked why you lost your last hand, you can say that the online poker software made a mistake in calculating the odds.

• If you see a player who is winning a lot, you can say that he is using a bot.

• If you lose a hand against a beginner player, you can say that he is a fish.

• If you have a losing streak, you can say that it's the fault of the variance.
  

Of course, nobody will really believe you. But the important thing is that you feel better.

Here are some bonuses to help you become a former winning online poker player:

• Start attending poker forums and discussion groups. Here you will find other former winning players who share your frustration.

• Watch poker videos and tutorials. These will give you the conviction that if only you had more time and money,you could go back to winning.

• Enroll in an online poker course. These courses will teach you all the strategies and tactics you've forgotten.

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Disclaimer

The following poker articles are totally satirical and written by artificial intelligence. None of the things written here are intended as advice or guidance on how to play poker.

The advice and strategies provided are purely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken seriously.