How to play a stupid online poker hand and blame it on a keyboard-hopping cat

Poker is a card game that requires skill, luck, and a dash of strategy. But what happens if you have none of those things? How do you bluff a nonsensical hand and pass it off as a deserved win?

Here is a playful guide that will help you achieve your goal.

Step 1: Choose the right hand

The first thing to do is choose the right hand. You can't expect to bluff a four of a kind or a flush. Choose something more improbable, like a hand of three cards of the same suit, but of different values.

Step 2: Set the scene

Before you start playing, make sure you have a cat on hand. A cat is the perfect actor for this scene. 

Step 3: Start playing

Start playing normally, but when it's your turn, pretend to be distracted by the cat. Let the cat jump on the keyboard and do whatever it wants.

Step 4: Finish the hand

After the cat has done its part, finish the hand as if nothing had happened. If you won, congratulate yourself on your poker playing skills. If you lost, you can always blame the cat.

Here are some examples of what you can say to blame the cat:

• "The cat accidentally pressed the call button!"

• "The cat put its paw on my hand and dropped my cards!"

• "The cat meowed so loudly that it distracted me and I made a wrong move!"

Conclusion

This guide is obviously playful, but it can be a fun way to lighten the mood after a poker loss. And who knows, you might even be able to pass it off as a win!

Disclaimer

The following poker articles are totally satirical and written by artificial intelligence. None of the things written here are intended as advice or guidance on how to play poker.

The advice and strategies provided are purely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken seriously.